living in the end.

today i was reminded of all the things that
have come and gone in our worlds.

no matter how trite, no matter how important, no matter how loved.
the reality is that life moves, shapes, continues on at its own pace,
with no respect of our feelings, our lives or our wishes.

lives and love carry scars, and the tissue to match such.

there is nothing pure in this world like love.
and i am blessed to have love all around me.
my friends, my wife and everyone that touches both of us.

i.

i have found a bond.

a love.

a princess.

a joy.

a friend.

a dream.

a beauty.

a goddess.

a woman.

a myth in my own simple mind.

i have.

i have not.

so.

much.

live without to live.

live without to live…
do not live for the outcome?

living for the joy...
the moment...
the challenge...
the game.

and the ultimate reward...

playing big,

for her,
for her love.

melt. edit 2.

having been in the moment...present in the time...
having been in the face...
alive.
grace.
power.

full of presence.

life.
and promise.

calm beauty and euphoria.

she brings the warmth 

of every boy's dreams.
it is a life changing effect.

a wish. a wind.

a hush. a kiss.

a body. the body.

a mind.

and, a sharp spirit.

sharpened will. pondering the gravity of it all.

still festering about why... or how.
come?
a whisper of life and humanity 

that i having been living for a life.
she flipped all of my soul.

and i choose to live into that,

tonight, tomorrow

and for as long as i am allowed.

 

i did.
i didn't.
couldn't.
want.

shouldn't deserve.

far from deserving...

would have.
could have.
might have walked.

run... away...

but yet, i was there in the moment.

a moment for a life.

minutes. hour.

days. 

weeks.

 

praying and pleading for more.
more...
Paralyzed...
by a set of eyes.

 

a mind sharp...
when she wanted.
torn...
when she presented.
pure...
when she was.
a mess...
when she collapsed.
strong...
when she woke.
true...
in every moment.

beauty and grace...
when she walked away.
and back, again.

i didn't want to eat.
or sleep. 

afraid to dream,
consume...
what i couldn't desire.

 

i believe in the greatness.
the moment she inspired.

the moment she presented.
she filled for a life.

 

the one.
came.
went?
time is now the test.

growth and change
as we digress.

more.
most.
i will. i do.
i said it first.
now, last.

i am love.
for her.
forever.

and, i continue to melt.
having been in the moment... 

cookie.

a simple fortune cookie.

the 132nd in fourteen months.

a simple, brilliant
and monumental reminder.

i once coined this from another:
live without... to live.

but i don't choose that for my love...
my heart...
my precious...
my soul.
i choose forever.

one cookie.
one moment.
one kiss.
one heart.
one conversation.
one choice.
one life.

130 philosophy cookies that came before...

just one that could make me cry...
'treasure what you have.'

and i do.

my love.
my one.
my treasure.
forever...
and ever.

one cookie.

knowing what we don't know.

odd.

that we believe
and yet we don't know.

it the ability to
touch it...
smell it...
feel it...
hold her.

and have not.
oh,
what we believe
and what we don't know.

control?
yes it IS an illusion.

simply.
like life,
certainty,
absolution
and our own
idealism.

simply an illusion.
living for the moment.
living for the touch,
taste,
smell,
warmth
of what she brings.
brought.
presented.

missing her.
knowing not,
knowing what we don't know.

alone in my mind.
wishing...
knowing what i know.

one.

admiring the beauty of it all... 

catching the spark in her eyes...

unquestioned passion... 

complete trust. 

i adore living into

her precious beauty every day...

just the thought of her presence,

beauty and grace brings me a

simple smile, the world's desires

and a passionate soul.

in her grace i find love.

my love. 

my one.